Popping the Question- The Responses

 

What do you do as a hospital porter when somebody "pops the question". You may wonder what I mean by that. It doesn't mean being asked if you'll marry somebody (like the hell that would ever happen to a porter!), it means something very different. It was a question I was luckily not asked very often. It was usually nurses who did it, occasionally paramedics; rarely doctors. Usually I get a few minutes warning before the bomb drops. A stupid condescending smile will come over their face; and then, when we're alone together: "Ben... Ben. Come on now! How long have you been a porter for now, Ben? You're an intelligent young man and you obviously care. You really shouldn't be wasting your life doing something as worthless as portering. Have you ever thought about going up the ladder; becoming a nurse, an ODP, a surgical tech or a paramedic?" There are a number of responses you can make, the most obvious and impulsive being to shout: "Get out of my sight, you patronizing bitch!" Of course you can't do that on duty. I usually take a deep breath and count to ten, and then reply: "No, I'm too young and adventurous. I want more from life than a boring civilian job can give me. If you're content to tootle (great word that) along in your bland and humdrum existence as a nurse etc, then I'm pleased for you; but I am meant for a higher destiny." If I am feeling more aggressive I generally turn the question round: "Have you ever asked a nurse, paramedic, ODP etc if they've ever thought about becoming a porter?" They will of course answer no. "Why not?" They will then be forced into a corner where they have to admit they consider HPing inferior. I can then say: "Right, well I have a much higher opinion of the Hospital Portering Service then you do. I didn't become a HP because I wanted to be something "better", but didn't have the busfare upstairs! I joined the HP Service because I wanted to be a porter! I'm proud to be a porter! Good day!" and I walk away.
 
I try to resist getting too angry when dealing with people popping the question; this is because people who do it usually do not mean any harm. They are being tactless rather than malicious. They've simply never considered seeing the world the way I do. A response that is challenging and robust, yet calm and polite, could educate them. Hurling abuse at them will just drive them away. There is one exception to this, a man called Jack who popped the question continuously to me. He literally did it every time he saw me. He was a former porter who became an operating department practitioner, a kind of theatre nurse. He was very keen on giving porters what he called "the opportunity" to "better themselves". I don't object to that in practical terms. If a HP wants to quit and pursue a civilian career, that's up to them. The problem is, when Jack said "opportunity" what he actually meant was "mandate". It is a very weird thing to be obsessed with what a fellow grown man decides to do with their own life, but Jack was. I do wonder if he was just being a windup merchant. Either way, his behaviour was bizarre and disrespectful. He once shouted obscenities at me in a crowded pub. He eventually moved to another hospital and we lost touch. I suppose I should have just told him to get lost, but for some reason I never did. Maybe it was because of my little "experiment", see: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2020/02/humiliation-reply-to-stefan-molyneux.html and: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2020/11/nice-guys-reply-to-stefan-molyneux.html. I will have to return to this subject in a future article, but The Gas Spanner programme linked below gives a few more details. Some people appear to have no ability to introspect. They cannot assess their own actions against any external standard other than popularity and peer approval. Resisting people popping the question is not easy; it is actually far more difficulty than making dignity statements. However, it can be done effectively with enough practice.
See here for more information: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2020/12/the-gas-spanner-programme-7.html.