Saturday, 26 November 2022

Finding Barry's Grave

See here for essential background: http://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2022/10/barry-dies.html.
And: http://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2022/10/barry-dies.html.
I was determined to find out if Barry had a grave or memorial as soon as I found out he had died. This was difficult as I had blocked our only mutual contact, for reasons I will not divulge at this point. However I did mange to find a social media post showing there was something for Barry at the North Oxfordshire Crematorium and Memorial Park, see: https://www.northoxfordmemorial.co.uk. This is not an easy place to get to if you don't have a car and I ended up having to walk from Kidlington, which took about an hour. Thankfully the weather was dry. Once I got there I faced another challenge. The Memorial Park is huge, about thirty acres, and it is covered by thousands of memorials, almost all anonymous and only consisting of a small tree or bush. There are no full-body graves there, but some of the trees have ashes scattered around them or buried in their roots. A few had name tags on them, but most of these were missing. I could see no staff around to ask in the low, modern buildings which included the waiting room, chapel and crematorium. The Park was only open till four PM and so I only had about three hours to search. As I said, I am not willing to ask anybody else where the correct memorial is. I muttered: "Barry, where are you? Help me find you." Luckily it didn't take long. Barry has a more substantial tomb than most of the deceased and it stands out clearly from the trees. His family have interred his cremated remains in a permanent resting place which you can see below.
                               
I said a few private words to Barry. I don't know where he has gone to or where he is right now, but I hope he heard me. I hadn't brought any flowers for the pot, but Barry was never much one for them anyway. Instead I chose a more apt form of remembrance. I went to the nearest pub, a large and pleasant location in the middle of the countryside called Sturdy's Castle, see: https://www.sturdyscastleoxford.com. There I consumed a pint of Guinness. This is not something I often drink myself, but Barry loved it and could drink eight or nine pints of it in a row. When we went camping in Ireland in 1997, we visited the St James Gate Brewery in Dublin where the best of it comes from.
I'm glad I've had the chance to pay my final respects to Barry; albeit almost two years late, through no fault of my own. I've done it in my own way and I think Barry would appreciate it.

2 comments: