It's Not a Job

 

It's a way of life! But it's difficult to explain that. In my video about Barry dying, see: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2022/10/barry-dies.html. I describe a late night argument between myself and a senior porter at the senior's house; and the worst part was that Barry joined in and took his side in a calmer and more sensitive way. The senior was always a bit of a flash Harry. I didn't dislike him, but he sometimes rubbed me up the wrong way; however, I was obviously much fonder of Barry and so therefore his criticism felt much more uncomfortable. I had assumed he would back me up and he didn't. There was another time that happened; he thought I had done the wrong thing when I made my stand in DS, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2022/02/delivery-suite.html; this is despite the fact that he once lost his temper with his manager in X-ray filing and swore at her, and I backed him up. As I said in the video, Barry was like a surrogate father to me, but he was not perfect. The core of Barry's and the senior's issue with me confused me. It was actually only much later, having thought it over, that I understood it. The senior and Barry wanted me to become more conventional, "just normal" to use the convention's term for itself. Barry always said that one day he would have a "serious talk!" with me; it was when we went on our planned camping trip to Ireland in 1997. This "talk" never happened.
 
You might wonder how this is relevant, well I shall explain. Hospital portering is not a job, it's a way of life. It is something you are, not something you do. Every HP knows this deep down, but few will admit it. To admit it means going against convention because HPing is conventionally portrayed as so different, something you are simply not allowed to have those feelings for. To go against convention is extremely difficult. I've noticed that if you steal somebody's car or have an affair with their girlfriend they will respond with less hostility than they would when you make a comment that questions convention; and facing hostility from most of the people around you is very tough. As Septimius Severus said: "Most men would rather face an army than the scorn of their peers." Yet, paradoxically you might think, at the same time those same hostile people are unable to define convention. It is as if they are fish and it's the sea they swim in. The argument with the senior and Barry was confusing for me because they could not define precisely what it was they wanted from me. I kept repeating: "What exactly is your point?" The difference between them and most of the others is, they cared for me; Barry especially, but so did the senior in his own way. They wanted me to become what they are because it made their lives easier, but they couldn't put what they were into words; to them it was simply self-explanatory. As I've said before, there are HP's who are ashamed to admit that they're HP's, see: https://hpanwo.blogspot.com/2007/12/dont-tell-em-were-porters.html. Many can't even bear to tell others that they enjoy being HP's. This is really sad. If they just make the effort to stand up to convention, however hard it is at first, the rewards are extraordinary. It's a liberation like no other. The HPWA and The Gas Spanner show is all about showing you how and giving you support in your effort. Please do it!