"We'll Take it From Here."

 

This article is very much a follow-up to this one: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2024/01/how-dare-you.html.
I'm taking quite a risk here. "Sharon" was an elderly lady when I was nineteen, so is unlikely still to be living today, but the subject of this article, nicknamed "Stacey", was only four of five years my senior so may well still be walking the earth and reading this. She would definitely recognize herself from my description. I have mentioned Stacey before on the HPWA and The Gas Spanner radio show, referring to her with epithets like "psycho-midwife" or "evil-eyed midwife". She introduced me to another acidic catchphrase that causes my flesh to crawl when I hear it to this day: "We'll take it from here." She said this to me several times, along with "your services are not required" when ordering me out of theatre in what I consider very inappropriate circumstances. She did this to humiliate me; and she also made a lot of very derogatory remarks about the Hospital Portering Service in general whenever I was around. She worked out quickly how to hit me where it hurt. Stacey was a hard-faced Canadian lady with a figure so skinny she could be anorexic. Her eyes were like those of "Centaur", see: https://hpanwo.blogspot.com/2009/01/eyes-of-centaur.html; lifeless, as if painted onto her face, the eyes of a corpse. Her face was like a skull. Her husband was a research doctor and she used to brag about it whenever I was in earshot, as if she thought she could somehow make me feel insecure that way! At least with that she revealed that she hadn't sussed me completely. The reason it is a risk to know she might be reading these words is because one should never show one's feelings of distress to people like her. Stefan Molyneux once gave advice for people being bullied in the workplace (sorry, I can't remember which programme), "stay centred". I don't understand what it feels like to want to inflict emotional pain onto other people who are innocent of any wrongdoing against me, but we don't have to understand. All we need to know is that there are individuals who do want to and we must make preparations to defend ourselves against them. The first thing we do is never feed their habit. Don't display openly the affront that you feel as a result of their abuse. In writing this article I am letting my shield down, displaying my vulnerability; I'm confessing that the emotional scars Stacey inflicted on me still hurt to this day. Sometimes you just have to do that. Stacey was one of the first generation of direct-entry midwives, doing a single three-year course with no nursing qualification. She joined the JRI staff midwives in about 1994, a few years after the incident with Sharon. She rotated to the wards every few months, which was a relief for me. But then she was promoted to a grade that gave her a permanent placement in DS. In all the time I served there, she never spoke to me at all except to give me orders or criticize me. Other porters complained about her attitude too. Unlike "Miss stuck-up little bitch nurse" who snapped at everybody indiscrimiately, Stacey only ever punched down, remaining respectful to her equals and superiors.
 
When I left DS in 1999 I was in a difficult situation because even though I had joined a new section, I was still one of only about half a dozen porters trained for the department; which meant I was inevitably expected to provide cover. What's more, the porter deployed into DS to replace me was a "sicknote Sammy", always off for one reason or another. Literally within my first week in the main hospital I was sent over there for an entire shift to cover for him. That day Stacey was on duty and she kept asking to do unnecessary and stupid jobs like moving a used surgical tool tray from one sterile supplies rack to another. She was clearly reacting to my escape and enjoying the fact that I had been recaptured and would only be allowed out on "day release". The following day I wrote a letter to the head porter with a formal request not to be deployed to DS; it was granted. The good news is I managed to deliver some very sweet revenge on Stacey because by then I had started developing dignity statements. Possibly my experiences with her inspired me, which is yet another backlash against her. I used some against her very effectively three or four times during the next few years on the rare occasions our paths crossed, see the background links below. Stacey eventually quit midwifery to do an administration job in research. Last thing I heard she had ended up in some inspection office at the Department of Health in London. I'd like to add that I've nothing against Canadian ladies. I knew another one called Shelley, and I'm using her real name this time. She was the exact opposite of Stacey, a beautiful warm and delightful young woman for whom I spent much of my first couple of years in the hospital nursing a passionate ardour.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-gas-spanner-programme-2.html.
And: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-empath-test_11.html.