Wednesday, 23 October 2024

Hospital Porters' Guild

 
Guilds are something of an archaic concept these days; in fact they have declined in most countries of the world during the last couple of hundred years. Guilds existed from the earliest periods of history right up to the 19th century. They are sometimes confused with a trade union; the two are very different, however a guild often served the purpose trades union are for in the modern world. A guild was an association of tradesmen which regulated the practice of their work, provided support and was a depository of knowledge and training. Guilds have influenced society in ways most people don't realize. A lot of towns have a public building known as a "guildhall", a meeting place for guilds. There is the City and Guilds, an institute for vocational education. The guilds founded public houses, which is why to this day they still have names like "The Bricklayers' Arms" or "The Carpenters' Arms". It could be even our very personal names were generated by the guilds. Common surnames in the English-speaking world are very often the word for a job: Smith, Gardner, Cook, Baker, etc. It may be that generally in the future, for reasons I detail in the other HPANWO media, we may have return to the days of the guilds. I think the first step would be to form a hospital porters' guild. There has never been one of those before. Even though some people are named "Porter" it must refer to a different kind of porter from the civilian world. A HP's guild would be of enormous benefit to our service. It would archive the endless tricks of the trade that are currently being destroyed through casualization and the haemorrhage of experienced personnel. It would replace the current corrupt and useless trade union movement. In Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged, the author describes a foundry with its own internal company workers society. This group is frowned upon by the established steelworkers unions. No doubt a hospital porters' guild would be hated in the same way by UNISON. But what good have UNISON ever been? They threw us under the bus in the Great JR Hospital Porters Strike of 2015, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2015/08/jr-porters-strike-update-2.html; and all they do now is whinge about white heterosexual males and about how EEEEEEEvil we all are. To hell with them! I know a lot of people, even the six month wonders inside the HPing world, might wonder why we need a professional organization at all. I've answered that many times; too many to provide a link. Some of you may ask me why I don't go out and start a HP's guild then. I've done that. Really, the HPWA itself and The Gas Spanner HPANWO Radio show are an embryonic HP's guild. All we need now is our own pub, The Hospital Porters' Arms... Mine's a pint!

Monday, 14 October 2024

Marc Almond was NOT a HP

 
I've been working on my hospital porters "hall of fame" over the years and I'm always looking for new names to add to it. Sometimes an individual's service is rumoured or unconfirmed so in that case I tend to hold back from publication until I'm certain. I'd hate to commit the worst kind of third party stolen valour, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2021/12/mick-jaggers-service-confirmed.html. I have long been repeating the rumour that Marc Almond used to be a HP. This refers to the famous musician from the days of New Wave synth-pop. He was one half of the duo act Soft Cell and they had many great hits including timeless classics like Torch and Tainted Love. Unlike his fellow rock star Mick Jagger, I have found no evidence that Marc ever served as a HP. His most accurate biographies say he trained in art, drama and music from childhood and after school graduated from Southport College and then Leeds Polytechnic. It was at the latter that he met David Ball in 1977 and founded Soft Cell. He did some acting in his youth and starred in a few plays, but apart from that, music has been his only profession. I think the story of Marc being a HP comes from another urban myth that is truly revolting. He was supposedly admitted to hospital once and had to have his stomach pumped because it was engorged with semen after he had performed oral sex continuously at an orgy upon hundreds of men. This is false. It is actually a copycat jibe that has been spread about a number of other musical celebrities for many decades. Other targets of this joke are Rod Stewart, Elton John, Britney Spears, Jon Bon Jovi and even that real HP Mick Jagger. If you come across this rumour again, know that it is untrue. It's actually not possible physically. Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rock-star-stomach-pump/. So both rumours about Marc Almond are untrue. He was neither a hospital patient, with that affliction, nor a porter.

Friday, 4 October 2024

Must-Have HP Memorabilia

 
An Ebay seller called "retired-2020" has put on sale a unique piece of hospital portering keepsake. His or her list appears to consist entirely of old corporate branded giveaways and this particular item was brought to my attention by a brother porter. It is a keyring with a fob sporting the logo or Carillion PLC. It's about three and a half inches across. Source: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/315805854978. I am definitely not a fan of Carillion and spoke out against its partnership with OxRad; but like it or loathe it, it is a part of HPing history. It is even rarer because, of course, the organization that issued it has ceased to exist, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2018/01/carillion-collapse-update.html. This is the equivalent of a medal from the Battle of the Somme or a button from General Patton's tunic. And unlike military antiques, this one only costs three pounds. How wonderful low demand is for the HPing anorak! I'd like to buy this myself and I will in a week or so, but I thought I'd let readers know first in case you want it instead. If so then by all means get in there first. I already have a rich collection of old hospital portering relics. If it is not sold after that period I shall snap it up and add it.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2022/03/hp-on-ebay.html.

Wednesday, 2 October 2024

HP's Live here!

 
Above is a picture of an excellent doormat that warns everybody in advance that hospital porters live there! I would get one, but I live with a pair of civilians in a ground floor flat. Even if you're not a HP you could get one to bluff away unwanted callers. The ODO pushers, people like "Jack", see here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2023/05/i-lied-to-jack.html, will never touch your doorbell I guarantee! The HP's doormat can be bought at an online store called Temu. Source: https://www.temu.com/uk/. If you put "chairs" into the search box you'll see they also sell some porters' beds. There are two white ones for £39.09. See here for details: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2021/10/porters-bed.html.