Guilds are something of an archaic concept these days; in
fact they have declined in most countries of the world during the last couple
of hundred years. Guilds existed from the earliest periods of history right up
to the 19th century. They are sometimes confused with a trade union; the two
are very different, however a guild often served the purpose trades union are
for in the modern world. A guild was an association of tradesmen which
regulated the practice of their work, provided support and was a depository of
knowledge and training. Guilds have influenced society in ways most people
don't realize. A lot of towns have a public building known as a
"guildhall", a meeting place for guilds. There is the City and Guilds,
an institute for vocational education. The guilds founded public houses, which
is why to this day they still have names like "The Bricklayers' Arms"
or "The Carpenters' Arms". It could be even our very personal names
were generated by the guilds. Common surnames in the English-speaking world are
very often the word for a job: Smith, Gardner ,
Cook, Baker, etc. It may be that generally in the future, for reasons I detail
in the other HPANWO media, we may have return to the days of the guilds. I
think the first step would be to form a hospital porters' guild. There has never
been one of those before. Even though some people are named "Porter"
it must refer to a different kind of porter from the civilian world. A HP's
guild would be of enormous benefit to our service. It would archive the endless
tricks of the trade that are currently being destroyed through casualization
and the haemorrhage of experienced personnel. It would replace the current
corrupt and useless trade union movement. In Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged, the author describes a foundry
with its own internal company workers society. This group is frowned upon by
the established steelworkers unions. No doubt a hospital porters' guild would
be hated in the same way by UNISON. But what good have UNISON ever been? They
threw us under the bus in the Great JR Hospital Porters Strike of 2015, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2015/08/jr-porters-strike-update-2.html;
and all they do now is whinge about white heterosexual males and about how
EEEEEEEvil we all are. To hell with them! I know a lot of people, even the six
month wonders inside the HPing world, might wonder why we need a professional
organization at all. I've answered that many times; too many to provide a link.
Some of you may ask me why I don't go out and start a HP's guild then. I've
done that. Really, the HPWA itself and The Gas Spanner HPANWO Radio show are an
embryonic HP's guild. All we need now is our own pub, The Hospital Porters' Arms... Mine's a pint!
Wednesday, 23 October 2024
Monday, 14 October 2024
Marc Almond was NOT a HP
I've been working on my hospital porters "hall of
fame" over the years and I'm always looking for new names to add to it.
Sometimes an individual's service is rumoured or unconfirmed so in that case I
tend to hold back from publication until I'm certain. I'd hate to commit the
worst kind of third party stolen valour, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2021/12/mick-jaggers-service-confirmed.html.
I have long been repeating the rumour that Marc Almond used to be a HP. This
refers to the famous musician from the days of New Wave synth-pop. He was one
half of the duo act Soft Cell and they had many great hits including timeless
classics like Torch and Tainted Love. Unlike his fellow rock
star Mick Jagger, I have found no evidence that Marc ever served as a HP. His
most accurate biographies say he trained in art, drama and music from childhood
and after school graduated from Southport
College and then Leeds Polytechnic.
It was at the latter that he met David Ball in 1977 and founded Soft Cell. He
did some acting in his youth and starred in a few plays, but apart from that, music
has been his only profession. I think the story of Marc being a HP comes from
another urban myth that is truly revolting. He was supposedly admitted to
hospital once and had to have his stomach pumped because it was engorged with
semen after he had performed oral sex continuously at an orgy upon hundreds of
men. This is false. It is actually a copycat jibe that has been spread about a
number of other musical celebrities for many decades. Other targets of this
joke are Rod Stewart, Elton John, Britney Spears, Jon Bon Jovi and even that
real HP Mick Jagger. If you come across this rumour again, know that it is
untrue. It's actually not possible physically. Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rock-star-stomach-pump/.
So both rumours about Marc Almond are untrue. He was neither a hospital patient,
with that affliction, nor a porter.
Friday, 4 October 2024
Must-Have HP Memorabilia
An Ebay seller called "retired-2020" has put on
sale a unique piece of hospital portering keepsake. His or her list appears to
consist entirely of old corporate branded giveaways and this particular item
was brought to my attention by a brother porter. It is a keyring with a fob sporting
the logo or Carillion PLC. It's about three and a half inches across. Source: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/315805854978.
I am definitely not a fan of Carillion and spoke out against its partnership
with OxRad; but like it or loathe it, it is a part of HPing history. It is even
rarer because, of course, the organization that issued it has ceased to exist,
see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2018/01/carillion-collapse-update.html.
This is the equivalent of a medal from the Battle
of the Somme or a button from General Patton's tunic.
And unlike military antiques, this one only costs three pounds. How wonderful
low demand is for the HPing anorak! I'd like to buy this myself and I will in a
week or so, but I thought I'd let readers know first in case you want it
instead. If so then by all means get in there first. I already have a rich
collection of old hospital portering relics. If it is not sold after that
period I shall snap it up and add it.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2022/03/hp-on-ebay.html.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2022/03/hp-on-ebay.html.
Wednesday, 2 October 2024
HP's Live here!
Above is a picture of an excellent doormat that warns
everybody in advance that hospital porters live there! I would get one, but I
live with a pair of civilians in a ground floor flat. Even if you're not a HP
you could get one to bluff away unwanted callers. The ODO pushers, people like
"Jack", see here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2023/05/i-lied-to-jack.html,
will never touch your doorbell I guarantee! The HP's doormat can be bought at
an online store called Temu. Source: https://www.temu.com/uk/.
If you put "chairs" into the search box you'll see they also sell
some porters' beds. There are two white ones for £39.09. See here for details: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2021/10/porters-bed.html.
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