...One Must Be Silent

 

I thought I'd give my EP&DB&SP's something a little more light-hearted for the weekend. Have you ever been in one of those conversations with another person in which you're disagreeing about a fact and the other person, instead of simply explaining why you are factually wrong just says: "But what would you know!? You're not qualified to express an opinion because..." and they criticize you personally. They concluded: "If you don't know anything about it then don't talk about it!" This is called an ad hominem fallacy and it is so widely committed that it is almost endemic. Unfortunately it was an HP who promoted it with his famous quote: "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent." Ludwig Wittgenstein was a porter at Guys Hospital in London from 1939 to 45; and he also served in an Austrian army field hospital in the Great War of 1914 to 18. He was also an occasional amateur part-time philosopher, so I'm told. His quote has been interpreted to justify the ad hominem fallacy, although this was probably not my brother porter's intention. Anyway a few weeks ago I happened to meet up with the same person again at a family gathering and spoke non-stop for about half an hour about hospital portering. I saw them looking more and more annoyed until eventually they said to me: "Ben, could you please stop going on about hospital portering and change the subject?" I reminded them: "But a few months ago you told me that if I didn't know anything about it then I shouldn't talk about it. Hospital portering is the only thing I know a lot about, so that is what I am talking about? Rememer, this is accordance with your instructions... Or would you prefer it if I just sit here in silence?" I raised my eyebrows and gave a crafty half-smile. The person gritted their teeth and their cheeks flushed as they found themselves boxed into a logical corner. It was almost as satisfying as a well-delivered Dignity Statement! One-nil to the HP's again!
See here for more information: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2016/05/wittgensteins-poker.html.
And: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2015/03/wittgenstein-on-that-dress.html.

The Millennium Bug

 

The Millennium Bug aka Y2K, or the Y2K error, was a portent of an approaching mass computer malfunction caused by the limitations of the standard six digit calendar format used by most computers. This means the current date, the 14th of March 2022, would be stored in such a database as 14/03/22. The obstacle is obvious. In this format the year 2000 is identical to 1900. This contradiction was predicted to lead to electronics crashing in enormous numbers. Such a crisis was considered by some an approaching Armageddon scenario and in preparation for New Year 2000 people stockpiled food, bought weapons and prepared shelters in their basements; like they still do today for other reason like nuclear holocaust, asteroid impact, viral pandemic etc. Comedians found inspiration from it too, like with The Simpsons episode entitled Life's a Glitch and Then you Die, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whu5nr17DYA and: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbQsxZvHeI0. Luckily there was a simple solution, to introduce a new calendar format with eight digits, which would record today as 14/03/2022. However the task of upgrading every computer in the world was Herculean. It was only half finished when the clocks chimed midnight on New Year's Eve. As it happened, there were a small number of breakdowns, but happily the DoS Doomsday never came to pass.
 
When it came to the upgrading campaign, a number of institutions were prioritized. One of those was of course hospitals. Imagine the catastrophe if intensive care life support machines suddenly stopped working. Despite the worthy effort by the IT's in the NHS, my hospital was not prepared to take any risks. In December 1999 we took action. I was assigned to a team dealing with anaesthetic machines. These are interconnected systems of oxygen and medicated gas delivery used during surgery. For information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaesthetic_machine. All the ones in the JRH were modern and computerized; in fact I remember bringing the new ones into the Delivery Suite theatres a couple of years earlier. They replaced the older and purely mechanical ones that had been there since I joined the department in 1990. We had luckily kept them in the Level 0 storeroom! No doubt they were bound for the scrap yard and would have been gone before much longer. It took a couple of days to move every one of the heavy devices all the way from theatre to a temporary storage location. This had to be secure though because modern anaesthetic machines are worth about a million pounds each and there was always the fear that somebody might steal one. Therefore we had to find a spare chamber with a lock on the door which could be monitored by security. When the older machines were in place the theatre techs installed them and these were used for the entire new millennium period. During January 2000 tests were carried out on the modern machines and when it was certain they would work alright, we carried out the same assignment in reverse. We did get overtime pay so maybe apocalypse scenarios aren't all that bad. It was not only we porters who benefited from the "Y2K industry". Software manufacturers are estimated to have made billions in sales of their new suites. Cynics said afterwards that the threat of the Y2K error was exaggerated deliberately for this purpose. They pointed to South Korea, a country which had no state Millennium Bug alleviation programme and yet did not suffer more computer crashes than any other country which did. Who knows what was true or false? It's all hypothetical. I suppose if I were a patient at that time I would have wanted to play my caution card. As it was, thanks to the good old HP's and other NHS staff, we played it for them.
See here for more information: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2020/07/programme-379-podcast-apocalypse.html.
And: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2020/08/apocalypse-soon.html.

HP on Ebay

 

If you want to help out a hospital porter today, here's how you can do it. One of MEP&DBP's has set up an account on Ebay, the top online marketplace, and has a number of items for sale. He is holding an auction for three books that will be of particular interest to readers of the other blogs in the HPANWO franchise. Shadow of a Bass Man by Anne Walsh and Mary Ann Howard (see here for an interview with the authors: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2021/02/programme-408-podcast-anne-walsh-mary.html), Family of Secrets by Russ Baker which exposes the American presidential dynasty of George W Bush and his relatives; and an absolute classic, Not in Your Lifetime- the Assassination of JFK by Anthony Summer. See here for his page: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/edinho999. All proceeds go to charity.