Friday, 9 November 2012

Paper Mask Online

A few clips from the 1990 film Paper Mask are available online, eg:
It's only a matter of time before some fool uploads the entire travesty. I hate this film. I hate, hate... HATE it. I feel a loathing for it that is so passionate it is almost soul-consuming. Words are simply not adequate to express the vicious and obsessive revulsion that courses through my heart at the mere thought that it once sullied a cinema screen. A brief glimpse of just a single still poisons my system with such a toxic disgust that I am almost incapacitated. As regular HPANWO-readers will know, I am a libertarian and I oppose all forms of censorship... but if I didn't oppose it, I would call for all the existing reels, digital copies and videotapes of Paper Mask to be burnt publicly in the centres of all British towns and cities, and the ashes carried by hospital bed to a grinder where they would be pulverized down to the molecular level; and then buried in a concrete vault five hundred feet underground with warning signs on the ground above in twenty languages and a symbolic non-linguistic code to alert future humans, who may not speak any modern languages, not to risk opening the contaminated chamber beneath, and to let it lie there forever, safely isolated from the environment until the half life of burnt plastic, steel and acetate has expired. I'd also round up the entire cast and crew, right down to the boy in the studio who made the tea, and lock them in the deepest dungeon in merry England until they stop knocking on the door for their bread and water. One critic described it as "underrated". Excuse me? I think it's overated and has been so since the viewer at the front of the queue at the premier passed a single penny over the box office counter.
I wrote an article a while ago called Hospital Porters in the Media detailing my search for some fictional media piece which portrayed Hospital Porters in a positive light and failed, see: Mask is a film hardly anybody has heard of, and I'm glad because obscurity has never been more richly deserved. It follows the story of a "lowly"... (UGH!)... Hospital Porter who steals the identity of a doctor and impersonates him. I'm am so utterly sick and tired of Hospital Porters being portrayed as frustrated doctors and nurses, walking round with their heads bowed and their shoulders slumped in shame and low self-esteem. Do I need to say it again? I am very proud to have been able to call myself a Hospital Porter. If events hadn't taken me in a different direction, I'd have been happy to have served the rest of my life in the Hospital Portering Service.
If you're a Hospital Porter or ex-Hospital Porter and you've been effected by the issues raised in this film then help is available from the HPWA. Just send a private message to "Hagbard Celine" on the HPANWO Forum, see Links column; you will need to register as a member first. Don't lose hope. You are not alone. We're here to help you.

Friday, 30 March 2012

Registering the HPWA

I’ve recently done some more work in the planning of the HPWA, hopefully this will help silence the accusations of fraud that have been leveled at me and it will also mean that the HPWA will be taken more seriously in its activities. However I’ve discovered that not all charities can, or must, register with the Charities Commission. To begin with the income of the charity must be over £5000 per year. Also not all voluntary organizations which are run by gift donations of money can be defined as “charities”. To be defined as such the organization has to meet certain criteria and it means we, as a group, (I saw “we” because I don’t expect to be the only one involved forever) must ask ourselves some questions. The Charity Commission says that an organization can only be a charity if it has aims which are for the benefit of the public, and we have to demonstrate public benefit, see: As you can see there are many linked documents which will mean that it will be necessary to do some research, but really in this case the answer is simple and obvious: Of course the HPWA’s goals are for the benefit of the public. Nobody can possibly question that! The objective of the HPWA is to provide care, counseling and support for Hospital Porters, ex-Hospital Porters and their families. And any society which has a healthy Hospital Portering Service is a healthy society in every other way too; it’s that simple.

So for now I’m not in a place to register the HPWA as a charity under the 2011 Charities Act for England and Wales. It’s possible that we may qualify under the “Excepted” or “Exempt” category, but I’m not sure yet, see: More later!

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Accusations of Fraud

I’m writing this because somebody has been going round the Net accusing me of fraud. They’re claiming that The HPWA is a fake charity set up deliberately so I can embezzle money to myself, in the same way that the British politician Jeffrey Archer did a few years ago with his fraudulent charity that was supposed to be helping the Iraqi Kurds. He was sent to jail for that, quite rightly! Let me reassure you right now that the HPWA is a genuine charity and its sole intention to raise money to help Hospital Porters and ex-Hospital Porters, and their families, in times of need and support. Everything I do will be legal and above board. You'll see.

My accuser has no evidence at all; they’re just saying it for the hell of it: “I think Ben is setting up a fake charity to make money”. I will not stand for my name being smeared in this way. I’m politely requesting that my accuser, you know who you are, ceases as desists these accusations right now! I’m only going to ask once...

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

What Now for the HPWA?

If you’re a regular reader of the other HPANWO blogs you’ll know that I’ve been discharged from the Hospital Portering Service, see: and: . So, you might ask, does this mean it’s all over for the HPWA? Well, in a word, no. There’s no doubt the financial difficulties I’m now facing will mean I‘ll have to change the organization of the HPWA to an extent; I now no longer have the ability to pre-invest. This means that the actual fundraising events I do will be limited to what I can afford from my civilian employment, at least to begin with. But just because I’m no longer a serving Hospital Porter doesn’t mean that I cannot run a charity for Porters and ex-Porters. After all there are many people who are ex-Armed Forces and who are actively involved in Help for Heroes, see: . The good news is that many of the actual plans I had for the first sponsored events are extremely low budget. Watch this space and I’ll soon give you the details!