Sunday, 19 January 2014

A Hospital Porter is King!

A Hospital Porter from Southend, Essex has announced that he is a direct descendant of King William I of England, the first Norman ruler of the country who took power when he won the Battle of Hastings in 1066, see: William's victory was helped by the fact that the incumbent Saxon king, Harold II, was busy up north repulsing another invasion by Denmark which "coincidentally" happened to take place at the same time. My Extremely Proud and Dignified Brother Porter Jon Blackmore has been researching his family tree and now says he has positive proof of his royal lineage. He is also linked to Kings Henry VIII and Alfred the Great through his family. There are twenty-seven generation separating the king from my Brother Porter, but his photo does bear a striking resemblance to the portraits of William the Conqueror. Could a particular facial physiognomy endure for so many generations? The question is, does this pedigree of my Brother Porter's entitle him to be put in line for the throne? I'd say: Yes! Sod the lineage, he's a Hospital Porter! Naturally Queen Elizabeth II and her House of Windsor Annunaki Reptilian accomplices will never allow anybody else willingly into their place, and they will fight and kill for their privileges; they've done so before many many times. But this brings up an important question about the monarchy: Would we have such a thing in the post-Illuminati world? My first instinct is to say "no", but should I? Is a king or queen an inherently bad thing? In JR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings there are good kings and queens, elves, dwarves etc, especially after the One Ring has been destroyed. Of course most people will protest that this is just a fantasy story, and technically they'll be right, but Tolkien was a very wise man who was deeply connected to profound spiritual archetypes. This is a new notion that has only just occurred to me and I don't yet have all the answers, but I'll be contemplating it and will get back to you. As far as I'm concerned, bowing to a Hosptial Porter is not only something I'd be willing to do, it would be an absolute pleasure!


  1. I have also just discovered that I am directly descended from William the Conqueror and Alfred the Great. And I work at a hospital and am about the same age as Jon. :-)