Happy Christmas 2023

 

A very merry Christmas to all my brother and sister hospital porters, serving or retired, our civilian allies and everybody else who reads the HPWA or listens to The Gas Spanner. Hope you all have a wonderful day; especially if you are on duty, giving up your time to keep everybody else safe while they enjoy their Christmas... And remember! It's just 154 days to St Theo's Day!

Telephone Dignity Statements

 

This kind of dignity statement is a variation of third party one, see background links below, but it is actually much easier because your stooge is not present. The way to carry out this dignity statement is purely opportunistic; it's not really possible to plan it beforehand. Also not all porters have the role where they are in the right position because they don't often talk on the telephone in front of civilian staff. Primarily it's the providence of the departmental porter rather than somebody from the lodge. If you happen to take a phone call or make one in a public place, for instance at a nurses station, and somebody happens to turn up who would make an appropriate dignity statement target; then if it feels right, as always, this is what you do. During the conversation on the phone, slip in words like: "Yes, but we are porters with a lot of porters' pride and dignity which nobody can take away from us. A lot of them try, but they fail and it drives them nuts..." As with the dignity statement where your stooge is present, do not look at your target. Only ever keep your gaze in the position you normally do when addressing somebody on the phone. If the call is a video communication, keep your eyes on the stooge where his or her image appears on the monitor screen. Even after the stooge has ended the call and you have not yet made a dignity statement; if you are holding the receiver and those around you don't know the call is over, you can pretend you are still on the call and deliver the dignity statement followed by: "...Anyway. Thanks for the call. Bye bye." and put down the phone. ("Stooge" is a term I use for the third party in a third party dignity statement.) After your call is over, act normally. Return to your normal duties by walking away, keeping your eyes averted from your target. If you are lucky you might catch his or her richly-deserved wince of humiliation in your peripheral vision.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2013/07/physical-dignity-statements.html.
And: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-gas-spanner-programme-2.html.

Wokies Hate HP's!

 

This is a topic I more normally cover on the other HPANWO sites, but in this case it is relevant to hospital portering. I've hesitated to tell this story before because I suppose I feel a little embarrassed about my own behaviour during this encounter. A few years ago, due to social circumstances I will not reveal, I found myself in a group of people in a cafe sitting opposite a woman who would today be called a "wokie", "wokeist" or "woke person". In those days that terminology didn't exist and her kinds of people were known as "SJW's- social justice warriors". It was immediately very obvious by her appearance and style of speech what her beliefs were and so I braced myself. Conversations with SJW's can only go in one direction. When the usual subject of professions came up I said: "I'm a hospital porter". (Of course, I was technically an ex-hospital porter, but I tend not to divulge that part to strangers; it requires too much explanation.) When I told her this I saw her flinch and look away, as I expected. She was already being very frosty with me because I'm a white male and had not yet made the usual mandatory virtue signalling noises, but to know that I'm a working class white male deepened her antipathy even further. There's a common myth that snobbery is something the upper classes feel for the lower classes; the lord of the manor for his butler. This is false. Firstly, there is such a thing as inverted snobbery, in which the lower classes hate those above them; but that is too big a subject to explore in detail here. However, the worst and most common kind of snobbery is experienced by the working class, but it doesn't come from the top; it comes from the middle. Leftwing middle class people are the ones who really hate the working class; or to be precise, the white working class. During this conversation I was aware that I had to watch my words very carefully so as to prevent her locating the entry point she was desperately searching for, but it didn't work. Eventually and inevitably she found the excuse to say to me: "Yes, but you're a privileged white male!" I groaned inwardly. There are so many responses to that chestnut. What she was hoping for was for me to wince and bow my head with shame as the white male guilt washed over me and memories of slavery, rape and the Holocaust passed through my self-hating soul. Alternatively I could retort and try to justify my existence, allowing her to dismiss my concerns as "white fragility!" I could also have brought up false rape allegations, diversity hiring, South African farm murders etc; which she would have discarded with the same scorn and lack of compassion. I could explain how absurd it was for her to think I had any privilege when she was manifestly much wealthier than I was; but she would say: "but I'm a 'Woman!' which means I'm a victim of sexism which you are not!". Alternatively I could remain silent or say "no comment" which is probably the best defence when dealing with people like her. Despite this, my diplomacy armour failed at that point and I chose to wind her up.
 
This was not something I planned; it just occurred to me spontaneously. "So," I began. "What do you mean by 'white male privilege'? Are you saying that my demographic enjoys a higher standard of living because our exploitation of women and non-white people?"
    "Yes!" she hissed with a glare.
    "Then why would I want it to end?"
    She gasped. "What!?"
    I repeated my question, but she was speechless. I continued: "In an equitable world, white males would have to get in line with everybody else. We would no longer experience the life of luxury we currently do. So, why would I want an equitable world? I enjoy my pampered existence."
    My interlocutor was dumbfounded. Her face was a portrait! Just like "Miss Stuck Up Little Bitch Nurse" when I strike back at her with a well delivered Dignity Statement. She was not used to this response. Of course wokies always accuse white men of secretly wanting white male privilege to continue for the reasons I stated, no matter how much they protest; but they are accustomed only to dealing with white males who "try to deny it!" What she couldn't cope with was a white male who openly admits it and is unapologetic.
    I can't quite remember the next few exchanges verbatim, but it was along the lines of her saying that white male privilege was immoral and it made other people suffer, and me replying with comments supporting moral nihilism and social Darwinism. Finally she stood up and stormed off with the words: "You are truly evil scum!"
    I chuckled and yelled after her: "Yeah, winners tend to be!"
    I felt ashamed of myself. Those who know me will realize straight away that I didn't actually mean what I said to her, for example see: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2020/11/nice-guys-reply-to-stefan-molyneux.html. The thing is, I find people like her exhausting and infuriating. I avoid their company whenever possible, which luckily is almost all the time in my personal social circles. I know for a fact that had I tried to be honest and reasonable with her she would not have returned my good faith, a bit like this other example: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2023/07/payback.html. Get used to the fact that I'm not a saint and I have my limits.
See here for more background: http://hpanwo.blogspot.com/2021/08/political-correctness-portal.html.

HP's and Psychos

 

I've always taken a keen interest in ponerology, the study of psychopathy, see background links below, and it is a well-known fact that certain personality types are drawn to certain occupations. According to the psychologist and clinical ponerologist Prof. Kevin Dutton, psychopaths gravitate towards certain career paths and he has compiled a list of the top ten. Number one, no surprise, is finance. However I was surprised to see that number two is medicine. Doctors, especially surgeons, have among them a far high proportion of psychopaths than the average of six percent; or higher, depending on the source. You might think: "But doctors need to care to do their jobs!" No they don't; in fact a doctor who doesn't care has a huge advantage over those who do because they don't experience the emotional trauma that comes from witnessing the everlasting parade of pain, death and dismemberment doctors have to deal with. That kind of character is skilfully reproduced in the fictional film Malice, see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqeC3BPYTmE. I then wondered if there are any professions that naturally repel psychopaths. My first instinct was to assume that the professions empaths are drawn to repel psychos because of the contradiction, such as community caring jobs and charity work; but this does not necessarily follow. A psycho who is a sexual predator might get involved in a children's charity or nursery school because it would allow them easy access to victims; a perfect example being the Oxfam Haiti scandal, see: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43112200. Psychos lack an understanding of many concepts which to non-psychos are obvious; not just the empathy but a sense of time, regret for the past or fear of the future. This is why genuine psychos never apologize to their victims nor do they fear punishment by the law or revenge from their victims' loved ones. One thing psychopaths have an acute awareness of is social status. They crave dominance over others and in a social situation this means eminence within the group. For this reason a psycho will find any job which has low conventional status unbearable... You can probably guess where I'm going with this. Yes, hospital portering is a natural filter to weed out psychopaths. There is literally nothing for them here. I can think of a perfect example, a porter I served with in the early '90's. He was, I believe, a clinical psychopath. He exhibited all the red flags. He was obsessed with leaving portering and joining security. The John Radcliffe has always had its own separate security corps, whereas in smaller hospitals this is very often a portering discipline. Nevertheless JRH porters are often required to assist security in various roles; I did so myself many times. This psycho porter volunteered for every security assist task he could get, sometimes bolting from the lodge the moment the attack alarm went off before anybody else could get to their feet.
 
This psycho porter was never given a job in hospital security; I think they saw through him. His zeal was a bit overplayed, in my view. However, obviously he could not remain in hospital portering. He used to seethe with agonized frustration and suppressed rage at situations where I found a solution through the dignity statement. He eventually managed to get onto a security team at a shopping centre. The last I heard about him he had become a prison warder... makes sense. So, that's another advantage of being a HP; you exist in a naturally psychopath-free bubble. Psychos rarely join HPing and those that do don't last very long. One more reason to love being a HP.
See here for background: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2015/12/nhs-nurses-destroy-patients-doll.html.
And: http://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2013/12/channel-4s-psychopath-night.html.
And: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-empath-test_11.html.