Endoscope Lube

 

I've identified a number of beverages that might possibly have been invented by hospital porters. The first I've detected was invented by an EP&DBP whose name I'd prefer not to mention because I think he is still serving and I don't want to get him into trouble. You see, I do suspect he used to drink this one on duty! The drink has no official name, but it is usually nicknamed "endoscope lube". It is very simple to make; you just fill half a glass with vodka and the other with cola. It's best to make it in a straight glass because that makes it easier to measure. According to its creator it tastes best at room temperature, although I prefer it chilled. I suspect my bro HP's preference comes from the fact he couldn't store his supply in the lodge fridge for obvious reasons. One of its attractions is that it looks and smells quite like pure cola, so if management catch you with a glass you can always pretend that's what it is. In the illustration above you can see one I made myself. I should warn you that endoscope lube is deceptively strong. Like screwdriver and other similar cocktails, the taste of the mixer tends to drown out the vodka. This means it can go to your head without you realizing until it's too late. It's best to make your own and not drink one served by somebody else, unless you trust them completely. You can always adjust the measures to make it milder; "endoscope lube lite" I suppose you could say. Readers may wonder if I ever partook personally. I did indeed, including today. Did I ever while I was on duty?... I shan't answer explicitly, but I will confirm that a few glasses were passed round one Christmas day. Christmas life at the hospital is a strange experience generally, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2013/12/hospital-at-christmas.html. If readers know of any other examples from the HP booze cruise, please let me know in the comments.