"Let's Just Help Each Other Out!"

 

My brother porters mean everything to me, but this does not mean they are all flawless angels. Some of my fellow hospital porters have behaved in a very negative manner and I've spotted at least one clinical psychopath among our ranks. However, most of the antagonists I encountered within the Hospital Portering Service were just thoughtless and selfish individuals who were very much products of the bureaucratic institution they were a part of. Maybe they should not be blamed too much for behaving exactly in line with every incentive and temptation the system continuously poured in front of us. As I said elsewhere, there is a race to the bottom, see: https://hpanwo-hpwa.blogspot.com/2016/12/nurse-sacked-for-praying.html. However, this does not justify their actions. Therefore I have some advice for anybody starting out as a new HP in today's NHS (something I truly do not envy you!), some warning signs that indicate that your colleagues might be extracting the urine a bit. Because of the squalid competition I describe in the article linked above, anybody who is conscientious and committed to performing their duties properly tends to be lumbered with harder work than everybody else. Management do not care about this, in fact I know from experience that if you complain about your lot in life, your head porter will become angry with you, not with those taking advantage of you. All he cares about is getting the work done to the point where operations fall within the bracket of what the monitoring officers are willing to overlook (how much the contractor is paying them is another factor of course). He will try to persuade, induce, cajole and threaten the muggins into going back to being a muggins long before he dares lift a single finger to discipline the general laziness and incompetence competitors. So, don't expect any backup if you report this kind of thing to the office. In my second year of HPing, just after I'd finished my relief tour, I volunteered for Delivery Suite. This is the part of JRI Maternity, today called the "Women's Centre", where the babies are actually born. It is an elite station within portering because it involves specialized practices like theatre cleaning. Along with the four men in the regular section, only about half a dozen other porters were trained for it. I did it for nine years, much longer than I should have. It was wonderful when I started, but the last four or five years were a nightmare. This is because of a political agenda that I detail elsewhere. Despite the torment it caused me, it was probably a good thing I experienced it because, in the long run, it was very educational and character building. See: http://hpanwo.blogspot.com/2021/08/political-correctness-portal.html. One day I'll tell the story of how I was transferred out. The four porters in Delivery Suite provided continuous rotary service with one porter always on duty on all the shifts and one on a day off. One of our tasks was to replenish supplies in the suite of four theatres; linen, masks and hats, sterile gloves etc. This was called "topping up" and was the responsibility of the porter on two-to-ten, the late shift from two PM to ten PM. One day I was summoned to a departmental meeting with the other porters and they told me: "Ben, we've been thinking. Maybe we should do the topping up on all shifts, not just two-to-ten." I asked why and they replied: "This way we'll all be helping each other out." I said: "But it only needs to be done once a day. How will we be helping each other out more if we do it on all shifts?" They became frustrated with me and tried to moral blackmail me without answering my point: "What, Ben? Don't you think we should all be doing our bit?" The fact is, by then I had started to smell a rat and they probably knew this. They all realized at that moment that they had underestimated me. The reason they wanted us to change the practice was that they knew that I, being a good worker, would do it diligently ever day... and I would be the only one doing it! Only when I had rotated off would they need to be bothered. That was their crooked plan! It's important not to underestimate the dishonesty and guile of other people, especially in a society that rewards that kind of behaviour. I almost fell for their trick! Beware of your own colleagues, especially if they have a lot more experience and are more streetwise about hospital life. Many will want to use their abilities to protect and nurture you, but others will be simply on the make.